'It's Your Funeral' with Prue Leith
Prudence Margaret Leith, CBE is a British-South African, restaurateur, chef, caterer, businesswoman, broadcaster, journalist, cookery writer and novelist. She was a judge on BBC Two's Great British Menu for eleven years, before joining The Great British Bake Off in March 2017.
Have you given your end-of-life arrangements much thought?
Yes, mostly about how I can avoid going to Dignitas and dying in a soulless room in an industrial estate outside Zurich. I fantasise about a friendly vet putting me down with the simplicity, care and kindness we afford out pets.
Would you like to be buried or cremated?
Cremated I guess, but with no one there. But I don’t really mind. I won’t be there to mind will I? When my first husband, Rayne Kruger, was dying he said he’d like the council to just take his away in a plastic bag, but I said Tough, we want a proper service with all your friends and family there. So we did and it was wonderful. Then my children and I scattered his ashes in our pond and we launched a flotilla of little candle boats, on the water. And then went back to the house for a riotous party. When I woke at 3 am and looked out of the window I saw the last to the floating candles winking out, like Rayne saying goodbye.
Your final resting place?
I’d like to be in the pond with Rayne. I’ve lived in the house for 45 years, but apart from it now being illegal to scatter ashes in your own pond, We’ll probably have sold the house by then. My son is the new MP for Devizes and my daughter is going to live in LA, so there’s not much point in a big family house with an adventure playground for the grandchildren and a pond to swim in. So who knows? I guess the family will decide, and I’m happy with that.
Who would you like to do the eulogy?
My son and daughter. Daniel is a great speaker and did his father proud, and my daughter writes beautifully. I hope they’ll tell some funny stories – my catering disasters for example.
What would you put on the menu at your funeral wake?
Oysters for starters, followed by more oysters and then treacle tart and custard. This is what I and my second (and current!) husband had for lunch just before we got married in a registry office in Edinburgh four years ago.
Anything you’d like to ban?
No, not my decision. But I’d hope for nothing mawkish and sentimental.
Any other special touches?
When my mother died we filled the chapel with flowers from the garden and scattered flowers and petals all over her coffin.
What music would you like played?
If all this was happening in a church I’d like the slow solemnity of tolling bells as people arrived, and jollier bell-ringing as they left. I’m not very musical but a bit of Faure’s Requiem, or Mozart’s Horn Concerto No 4, or Elgar’s Cello concerto in E minor would be beautiful and somehow uplifting.
The six tracks that you’d like on your final playlist?
The Ugly Duckling, sung by Danny Kaye: The earliest song I learnt. My mother used to sing it to us as little children, and then embarrass us by singing it when we were teenagers. She’d act the duckling turning into a swan, twitching her tail and gliding about.
The Foggy, Foggy Dew: Wonderful folk song about a weaver, his lover and their son. My mother led us all in singing it on long car trips from Johannesburg to the game reserve.
Eine Kleine Nachtmusik: My introduction to classical music. My oldest and best friend explained that Mozart was an angel come down from heaven. He is.
Kate Dimbleby sings Dory Previn: Any track at all. ‘Screaming” is about how grief makes you mad. “Beware of Young girls” is about Mia Farrow as a young girl stealing Dory’s husband Andre Previn. Kate has a wonderful rich voice and sings with controlled emotion.
Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds by the Beatles: Allegedly about drugs, but anyway a most exuberant and uplifting song. I used to play it at full blast in my little mini car. Brilliant.
These Boots were made for walking sung by Nancy Sinatra: Thumping feminist song which I’d play in the seventies, when delivering terrines and pates to pubs and meringues and cake to cafes in my mini-van.
Prue’s playlist is up on our Spotify.
Or visit Prue’s website: prue-leith.com.