What We've Learned After a Year Like No Other
It’s been a year since we launched Exit Here and opened the doors of our Chiswick home, so we felt it was time to reflect on what we’ve learnt and share the journey by launching our blog, ‘Matters of Life and Death’.
Over the past 12 months we’ve been inspired by the wonderful people we have met along the way, whose lives have touched ours and reinforced our belief in the need to change the way we think about funerals.
We wanted to change the conversation around death from one that’s hushed and taboo to try and arrive at a new positivity in the way we mark the end of life. I’d like to think that the funerals we’ve arranged, be they modern or traditional, have managed to be more than mournful occasions, that they’ve also been celebrations of full lives lived.
What has been most rewarding for me is that – with empathy, care and consideration – I think we’ve managed to make a positive difference to people at what is always a very difficult time in their lives. As a new business we’re constantly learning, evolving and growing with each client we meet and each funeral we arrange.
No discussion of the last year can avoid touching on the pandemic that continues to dominate our lives. It was hard on the families that during the lockdown were unable to have the funerals that they wanted for their loved ones. With the restrictions on numbers, lots of families decided to carry out the service themselves, opting to do so without a religious minister or celebrant. Happily, this approach, born out of necessity, created some of the most beautiful funerals we’ve helped produce. The experience has inspired us to suggest this more intimate arrangement to families as an alternative where appropriate.
We’ve also had people writing their own eulogies. They wanted to take control of it, to deliver a life-affirming reflection and personalised message, to make it into something that would inspire their loved ones and put warmth in their hearts and smiles on their faces.
There was one funeral where I saw what a difference a self-penned eulogy made. It was a miserable winter’s day, yet everyone came out of the church and stood in the rain smiling and sharing memories. No one seemed to notice or mind it was raining. I was taken with how beautiful the scene was. When people approach us about funeral planning, which I’ll post about on another occasion, writing your own eulogy is something we now suggest as an option.
Finally, I’m pleased that we’ve begun to create a community through our fortnightly coffee mornings, which take place at our Chiswick home every second Wednesday. They’re open to everyone, so drop in for a hot drink and a biscuit if you’d like to see more of what we’re about in person.
As we move into our second year, I want to continue to share our belief that funerals should be so much more than a recognition of someone’s death, that they should also be a positive celebration of their unique life, there to help keep them alive in hearts and minds of their friends and family.
Oliver Peyton