How We Look After People Who Have Died

Our beautiful visiting room at Crouch End

It is a huge responsibility and privilege to care for people who have died, and it is not something that we take lightly at Exit Here. Everyone in our care is treated with dignity and respect, and as if they were our own friend or family member.

Being open and transparent about what happens in our mortuary is very important to us and we are always happy to explain how we look after people in our care. In this post we have tried to answer the questions we often get asked.

Where Will The Person Who Has Died Be Looked After Until The Funeral?

Each Exit Here premises has its own mortuary facilities on site. We feel very strongly that this is extremely important - you will always know where your loved one is, and we can check on them every day. It also means we can be flexible and visits can be arranged at short notice if possible. Many funeral companies do not have on-site mortuaries (people in their care are kept in large facilities often nowhere near the premises), so if this is something important to you make sure you check before appointing a funeral director.

How Long Can Someone Stay In The Chapel Of Rest/Visiting Room?

It depends on the condition of the person who has died, and whether they have been embalmed or not, but generally they can stay in the chapel of rest/visiting room for as long as you wish to spend with them. The room is air conditioned, and after you have left they will be placed back in our mortuary.

How Long Can A Funeral Director Keep Someone’s Body?

Most people hold a funeral between one and six weeks after the death. However if you need to wait longer (because of family schedules for example) then we can look after the person who has died for as long as you need. It may be necessary to have a conversation about embalming if you want to visit your loved one just before the funeral, but if not it may not be needed at all. We will always try and work to your schedule, whether you need a funeral very quickly or need to wait several weeks.

How Do Funeral Directors Prepare Someone Who Has Died?

At the very minimum we always do the following for the people in our care:

• Moisturise the face and lips

• Remove any medical equipment or clothing from the hospital (intravenous lines, gowns, catheters)

• Dress them in clothes provided by the person arranging the funeral, or alternatively we can wrap them in a white cotton shroud.

We do not routinely embalm people in our care, and if we do it is only with the permission of the people arranging the funeral and only after we have offered a full explanation of what embalming is and a sensitive description of how it is done.

Do You Put Makeup On The People Who Have Died?

Our general rule is if someone didn’t wear makeup in life, there’s no reason why they should wear makeup when they have died. There are some circumstances where it may be necessary, but we will always keep makeup as natural and subtle as possible, and we will never put makeup on someone for the sake of it.

How Do Funeral Directors Dress People Who Have Died?

Sometimes people ask us if we will cut the clothes to dress people in our care - we hardly ever need to do that, and most people can be dressed without altering clothes at all. Dressing is done gently, slowly, and moving the person we are dressing as little as possible.

Can I Help To Wash And Dress My Mum/Dad/Friend?

Yes absolutely. You can be as involved as you wish, with our full instruction and support. Some people just want to be in the room while we wash or dress someone, and some people want to be as hands-on as possible. Some people have asked to come and paint the nails of their loved one or do their hair or makeup.

Is Your Mortuary Safe And Secure?

Our mortuary is locked and alarmed when we are not at our premises, and during the day there is always someone on site. We have meticulous records of everyone in our care, when they arrived with us and when they left our premises.

How Do You Know You Have Put The Right Person In The Coffin?

As well as having a set of processes at every stage, the person who arranges the funeral with you is usually one of the people who places the person who has died in the coffin.

As soon as someone arrives at Exit Here, their ID is checked and their name is recorded in our mortuary register and on the mortuary board. If we have brought someone into our care from their home or a care home, we place an ID wristband on their wrist before they arrive at Exit Here.

We record their height, possessions, any any relevant information about their clothes or jewellery - in as much detail as possible.

When someone leaves us on the day of their funeral, checks are done for the final time before the coffin is closed. We check their wristband ID against the coffin plate before they are signed out of the register.

Any important information such as whether certain items are staying in the coffin or are to be given back to the next of kin is also recorded and checked.

Can I Visit My Dad/Grandma/Child At Exit Here?

Yes, you can visit as many times as you wish, for as long as you like. We just need to know in advance so we can make sure there are no other appointments or visits happening. Sometimes people just want to visit once for a short amount of time, some people want to come every day. We can also organise evening gatherings the a night or two before the funeral if you wish.

The coffin can be open or closed, many people find it helpful even to sit with a closed coffin to help bridge that gap between the last time you saw your person alive and the day of the funeral.

If you have any questions about how we look after people in our care please feel welcome to ask, you can call or email us any time.